pissed

you know the more i think about it the angrier i get. not at anyone in particular. partly at myself. i want so badly to be down there with you all receiving tips, letting the coach see my flaws and telling me how to improve. ONE MONTH IS A FREAKING LONG TIME. and i don't see why i have to be banned seriously. hello-oo? i met the criteria-my timing was below 26 minutes. isn't the test to gauge whether we are fit enough? and isn't it so freaking obvious that I am fit enough? sometimes i get so tired of dealing with this shit. i think it's way unfair. i'm so sorry i've been trying to be okay with this-but when i found out that a coach was present today, i can't help but get majorly pissed off cause i have as much right as anyone else to BE THERE.
and WAH SEI i've got a big headache now. what's that phrase that captain haddock guy in tintin always uses when he gets pissed off- oh yeah. BILLIONS OF BLUE BLISTERING BARNACLES. i want to get you off my mind so so so bad!