i have been slothing and slacking like a big fat pig. i havent ran for ages. good lord! i promise to stop once its 2008. yes i do! i need to prepare for my interview. but i'm too lazy. everytime i think of what i'ld respond to the query "why are you interested in our school" i cant think of a good answer. i usually end up rambling away and talking rubbish. i'm worried. cause i want this very very badly. i want it so badly i seriously think that i'll be extremely depressed if i don't get it. i think i've been getting my hopes up too high too fast. i've been thinking of life there,imagining myself there. that's stupid, huay shan cause then it'll hurt more when u don't get it what's so great about you anyway you can't even find a true sincere answer to the qn "why are u interested in our course". what makes u think they're gonna like you. yup i'm pmsing now it's the time of the month, first day actually. and somehow i think nobody actually really cares, in fact some may be happier if i don't get it and don't leave. i don't know if there's actually one true person out there who is really genuinely rooting for me to get in. sharing my anticipation. feeling the urgency, how much this really really means to me. i'm so close dear God two steps more. please guide me through both cause although i have no definite answer as to why i want to do this i feel and i just know that i'n not destined to do anything else and i cant do anything as well and as happily as this. help me! one of my most personal entries. hmpff pfft.