corrine can you ask cherlyn if its okay if i come to ure place next wed to hang out? and return your tupperware.

I feel very perplexed. I think i am a born worrier. i worry about everything under the sun. i can't stop worrying. aiyo. and people are getting very exasperated with me. okay i shall express my anxiety here. metaphorically. okay. hrmmmph. here goes.

i've been searching for an apple. i love apples. lots of people love apples. but to get an apple is a privilege. it's difficult to get an apple. it's tedious, only the best of the best can get an apple. for months i've been preparing myself to get an apple. then suddenly my friend gets an apple. and she gets it in a golden bowl. then my other friend gets an apple. in a silver bowl. then after months of pain and agony i get an apple. in a wooden bowl. at first i am excited of course. i got my apple! then as i start thinking about eating my apple i get a littttle uneasy. ive been eating out of golden and silver plateware for years and i ain't used to a wooden bowl. and so begins the anxiety. i'm reminding myself not to be bratty but there's just that part of me that is wondering if ill be happy with the apple in the wooden bowl. i mean after all it's the apple that matters. right?ya cant convince myself though. ah. i wish i hadn't been brought up in such a competitive environment. i was so content in malaysia eating out of plastic,worm-infested bowls. i'm full of crap right. i know.

sometimes i should really sit down and ask myself what i really want out of life and what really matters most to me. sometimes i should shed my immaturity and look at things differently. *shakes head* nah still immature. *shakes harder* ow headache. sigh.

anyhow today was vday. my brother gave me a rose haha. sweet guy. and i spent the day at pasir ris shopping centre borrowing lib books,studying driving at the lib,and i bought a swimsuit and goggles. hhaahha but i dont feel anything.bochup. ah.ok the end.

xxoo huay shan