about the things going through my mind at this very second.

not much material for an interesting read but here're some pictures to kinda sum up singapore, yes this is very late and yes i only have pictures of classies i can't find my other pictures and most of them are from other people's albums on facebook anyways......

wells the one thing that is pissing me off now is that i just realised school starts on the 30th and i am only reaching back on the afternoon of the 29th, ugh hello jet lag and messy room. pissed cause i like starting school knowing that my room's in place and my kitchen's filled to the brim with junk. cause once school starts who has the time to pack??!! ARRGHHH i thought school started on the 31stt and YES one day does make a difference.

expectations

on a very random note, i was talking to my brother and realised something else. for most of my life i've kinda been living by what i perceive to be people's expectations of the kind of person i am. for instance, i do not doubt that my brother is smarter than me and that there is no way i can get better grades than he did. and i kinda saw that that made me limit myself? cause he's gonna become an eye surgeon(fingers crossed) and i have been subconsciously thinking that there's no way i can be anything more complicated than that. i don't know, somehow it's been drummed into my subconscious for a very long time that brother yuen is smarter than me and that i can't go beyond what he has achieved. the brother told me to stop limiting myself and to try to beat him. i think i just might.

couple of things i used to see myself as and that i have realised may be false are:

1) i'm athletic- truth be told i think i'm a slower runner than most other people though i run regularly. hai...

2) i'm pretty- thanks everyone who has at some point in my life uttered those words to me, but good God i woke up a few days ago, looked into the mirror and.. i don't see what you see and while i acknowledge that i am not ugly i'm definitely not what i would describe as pretty. opposers are blinded by my dazzling smile and personality. and do not leave tags saying otherwise cause i will feel awkward and i will smack you.

3) i'm doomed to be as bad tempered as The Parent(reckon i should be more discreet in my rants)- of all the things i think about myself this has to be the most crippling because all my life i've been fighting against what i believe to be bad-temepered genes derived from The Parent - but i've come to realise some people just deserve to be yelled at. yes i think from now i shall unleash my anger more often. i deserve to!!!

ya i have more but i need to take a shower now. will continue another time!!

huayshan