boohoo.

i saw this girl today.

she looked innocent, genuinely happy and it seemed impossible to wipe away the smile she had plastered on her face. she was laughing as if she had everything in the world going right for her. then i started noticing the small details on her face. i saw the eyebags hiding beneath her glasses,i saw her eyes, tired and mildly fearful. although smiling, her face shows discreet signs of exhaustion and frustration. she seems to be afraid of many things,of the future,even. beneath her optimistic expression lies confusion and uncertainty. she looks lost. she looks afraid, she looks tired.

i saw her in the mirror.

i'm so tired and afraid. terrified of what next year will bring. sometimes i wish i could rip my heart out and fill the empty space with a block of ice or metal,anything unfeeling.just plod on. run harder, do more work. let's see how it goes.