ughh

very frustrating. a lot a lot of studying to be done. i can't stop feeling afraid i'll fail and have to have a resit! i got back an essay mark today, an essay that i put a lot of effort in and i got a lousy 58! it just annoys frustrates and scares me cause i really feel like i'm not in control of my marks. no matter how much or how little i work, my marks just do whatever they want with themselves. after i saw my marks i went crazy and stuffed my brain with muscles and nerves and arteries, kinda like stuffing a bun with pork. for now i can remember what happens between the elbow and the wrist but i still have to memorize what goes on between the shoulder and the elbow, the hand, between the butt and knee, knee and ankle, foot blablabla i am getting depressed thinking about it. it's just the fact that i can't control my grades. it's friggin frightening.

but don't worry i'm trying my best. no consolation needed here. =)

i'm trying to stop eating so much, no harm being less porky in the face and tummy. but it's very difficult to do for someone who has been eating uncontrollably for 20 years. very difficult. i had 2 kaya sandwiches, one microwaved lasagne, one kitkat, chips and beans and one caramel shortcake today. pig right. sigh..

and i'm sorry mc, ch and ch(ooh same initials) for forgetting.. i felt especially bad cause you've always been dead loyal to me and it made me feel like i take that for granted. i'll make it up to you when i'm back i promise i do.

been hooked onto law dramas recently. check out a few good men and 12 angry men(recommended by yi jin). good stuff.

huay shan