a bit of a downer.

this is the first time i actually feel like med may not have been the right choice.my gp totally picked on me today and its not his fault, he did it in a nice aw-poor-blur-girl sort of way but i couldn't help noticing that my other 3 gpmates always seem to know and catch on things so much more quickly.

and it got me thinking, like elise and liz(if anyone doesnt know, they're the other 2 in my jc class that are also doing med) are WAY smarter than me, shaddup dont deny it. they're the kinds u just know will do well but im the blur one bumbling around and eventually doing well cause of well.. crazy hard work.

somehow i feel like im not cut out for this cause i dont catch on things quickly. it takes me ages. and i have a short attention span i do. i forget things and daydream very easily. no matter how hard i try. and i'm especially bad at dealing with patients. i care too much abt making them happy so i end up talking to them about their grandkids instead of their health problems.

part of me worries and worries that no matter how hard i try, im not smart or disciplined enough to make it. smartness can be dealt with easily,i can just work hard. but discipline.. im not that great in that and it's hard to force myself to change. i thought i was doing fine cause my tutorials have been fine but sigh.. sometimes things bring me down.

not giving up of course. just needed to pen this down so i can (hopefully) look back on this one day and realise how silly i had been.

wishlist coming up next =)))

huayshan