regular posts eh?

I love blogging, see. It's kinda like my personal diary.

Anyhow, today's post is a reflective one.

It's lovely when you realise that you're the person you wanted to be when you were a little girl.

When I was young, and all through secondary school, all I wanted was to make my parents happy, be genuinely loved by my friends, and to do well academically. As I grew older, things were added to the list, and some were struck off- I used to yearn to do well in sports but I've gotten over that craze now. Dear God, I accept that I'm destined to be the one that loses all the matches and provides entertainment for the rest of the team.

When I was 16, I actually made a list of three things, ONLY three things that I wanted out of life:

1) I wanted to be happy. Homelessness or obesity wouldn't bother me as long as I was happy.

2) I wanted to have people that I could genuinely count on.

3) I wanted to have a good career. This may not be for everyone, but truth is I'm an egomaniac and I can't deal with not being respected career and academic-wise.

I stand by my list and the above three things are still the ONLY things I want out of life. I'm glad, and proud to say that 1) and 2) I've had for a few years now, and 3) I'm on the way to achieve.

It wasn't easy though. It took effort to be the friend people could trust and love, and it took a lot of time for me to realise that I would never be happy if I kept yearning for approval and results-the approval of my parents, the achievement of good results and other accomplishments used to be the things that made me 'happy', but really, those were just temporary highs. The happiness you get knowing you're a good person and that you have people that love you never fades. Up till now, things still get me down but I know that I pick myself up faster and faster as time goes by. And I'm glad.

Got parcels from the class and nessie today. I was quite surprised by the class one!! but guys, everything was gorgeous and i was so, so, SO, so happy. i don't think i deserve such good treatment.

i've not forgotten about the thing about gay porn!

and my guitar is arriving on thursday(:

huayshan