another rant

i'm so sorry for spamming this blog with angsty entries but i've just been so bogged down by stupid things that have happened.
whatever that has happened, i blame myself more than anyone or anything. i allowed myself to let such things happen and i'm not about to shirk away from responsibilities.
i'm glad we thrashed things out no matter how pissed off it made me feel or how uncomfortable it made me feel.
yes, i still do disagree with some things and i don't deny i might feel awkward the next time but it's undeniable that some things you sent made me fucking pissed off. after all, you were the one who asked me how i felt and i fucking gave you a piece of my mind and yet you told me not to say such things? that's fucking unreasonable. i was being fucking honest.
OH WELL, i will try to move on.
this is fucking stupid. i can't believe such a thing had happened and i let it happen.
whatever it is, this is a good learning experience. at least i know your true colours so now, i'll prepare myself better. things will never return to normal. i will never be able to forget this incident and whatever else but i assure you, because i'm such a moron, i will try my best to make this friendship work. i'm 90% sure i still want it to work out unless you show me otherwise and trust me, showing me otherwise is not a difficult feat.
ok, i feel much better now. thanks to all who've helped me through this and stayed up with me untill wee hours just so that i won't kill that person or myself for that matter. you guys are awesome and i really appreciate it.
now, it's back to worry about uni applications and what not.