sigh,

sometimes i wish i were in NUS medicine. Life would be so, soo ,SOOO much easier. I would have plenty of people I know around me and I would fit in like a chocolate sprinkle on top of a cupcake.

then again I wouldn't be able to see how truly gorgeous this place is. I walk to and back from school everyday with a smile on my face. It's seriously beautiful.

i promised debra before i left that i would be honest about whether i was happy or not so i shall be true to my promise.

today was a saddddd day. cause my tutorial group has got like a few cliques and there's this angmoh clique that i can't seem to penetrate no matter how friendly i am. ok maybe i don't really put in the effort to say much(shy mah) but sometimes they so blatantly leave me out of discussions(when i'm unfortunate enough to be grouped with them) that i really wonder if they know they're being rude. i can get along better with a group of british-pakistanis but sometimes i look back on my lovely life in singapore where i had no end of friends to talk to and wonder why the hell i left my comfort zone. but at the end of the day i always know that coming here is something i'll never regret. cause when and i say WHEN,not IF, WHEN i finally feel cosy among the angmohs and start feeling at home here, I'll know that I've conquered yet another hurdle in life. a big one. in the meantime i'm making a ton of good international student-friends. I'm just sad about not being able to blend in with most angmohs. Okay i'm weird. haha! but i just don't want to be one of those ppl who sticks to asians. then come here for what. at the same time i don't want to be one of those asians who try to hard to fit in and end up being miserable with angmohs when they could be happy with asians. hard to strike the balance but i just feel that it's impt to have a grp of asian friends to fall back on should i feel sad at anytime.

random but i heart heart badminton cause THERE, all the angmohs are damn damn nice to me and they don't make me feel like i'm different. training this thurs!! *whoops*

tomorrow i end lessons at one, have a meeting with my med sch "dad" and "brother" and "sister". then i'm off to a movie with this indo girl and hongkong girl. I ADORE THEM foresee myself being good friends with them.

i can't wait to be home in buona vista, with people loving me left,right,centre.

heart,
huayshan.