my topsy turvy life!

my life is full of highs and lows. i swear. it was low for a bit when i was brooding over how stupid i felt and how annoyed i felt with myself with the whole not doing well in school thing.

(p/s just take the time to say here that i will reply emails soon, promise!! love u both (: )

then i went to see liz and that made it all good again. she's very different from most of the friends i have but i love it. she's good for me=)

a low moment hit me again this morning when i turned up late and unprepared at this presentation session thing, which was supposed to be unsupervised, but turned out to BE supervised. I messed up my presentation and felt awful about it.

a HIGH! moment then came in the afternoon, and i think this will last for quite some time- We had this thing called communication skills, and that's what the length of this post will be about.

See, the only reason why low grades get me depressed is cause im terrified that when i get out there i'll be a useless piece of shit and i'll end up harming instead of helping people. that's all. people get higher grades than me i think, shit they're gonna make better docs. i don't think, shit they're smarter than me. i really don't.

Basically communication skills is this thing we have twice a year, where they bring in 3 actors/actresses to do a role play with us. we're split up into small groups within our tutorial groups and we take part in these role plays. we then do a discussion after them, with the audience, tutor, actor and us giving feedback about the roleplay.

I finally got over my fear of being speechless when faced by a horrible situation(cause you just don't know what they're going to throw at you) and I volunteered to do the last role play today.

My case:

A Bangladeshi woman is hysterical cause her son has leukaemia and needs to see a consultant and she can't speak english, her husband who usually translates has been in a non-serious car accident. She tried speaking to the receptionist but was ignored, and basically I, a medical student, have to talk to the receptionist to try to convince her to help the woman get a translator.

when i read the case i panicked.

but anyway, it all went really well!!! my group and the actress who played the scary receptionist and my tutor said i did real good, and they pointed out things i did that i didn't even notice! oh and btw, in the middle of the roleplay, the "receptionist" went off about how the country is wasting money on "these bloody foreigners who can't speak english". Yah, one thing the case didnt mention was that the receptionist was racist.

My strategy was to not argue with her views, cause if i piss her off she won't help me. long story short. and everyone said i did real well(((:

Shit i'm bragging now aren't i. im sorry i just meant to say that im real encouraged by this cause it reminds me that even if i'm not that great at my sciences, i have something else to offer. and i'm not completely hopeless at this. i'm inspired to work harder! =)

okay that's about it. time to workk. gonna tell mummy everything first though=)

p/s working on it's all about you by mcfly on guitar now!

huayshan

*edit* i think i know, ms horlicks, and dont want to be kaypo or anything but u know u can tell me if there's anything i can do to help *hug*