about being sooooooooooo tired.

up, down, up, down.

UP

today was a roller coaster ride. Things went well at first cause I was lucky enough to be speaking to a patient who happened to need blood taken from him so i had to suppress the urge to yell "I WANNA DO IT!!!" when the doctor came in to tell him he had to be bled. The doctor also happened to be a verrrrrry nice Malaysian guy who I've spoken to before so he was nice and when I couldn't get the blood and was close to crying with despair he came to the rescue and sent me off to get blood from someone else whose veins were so obvious it was quite gross, really, and that cheered me right up =)

DOWN

Then in the afternoon I went to the surgical unit cause I was bored and was allowed to watch two breast surgeries. Two of the junior surgeons were so nice and one kept explaining things to me and chatting to me even while she was busy burning the patient's flesh but the senior surgeon who was an old british lady was such a racist nobb- i can't be bothered with the details but she upset me by a lot of the things she said and the way she behaved- she seemed to think I was inadequate and completely incapable of becoming a surgeon and fair enough i'm not the smartest of people but b****, you've only known me for 3 hours so screw you!!

UP

Really got very upset and it kinda helped when I met the nice Malaysian doctor(who in case anyone is wondering I am NOT interested in) at the bus stop and we had a nice chat on the bus and omg, he seemed to imply that i may not end up going back to singapore for another 5-6 more years which really depresses me i must say. :( oh well we'll see where life takes me. He cheered me up. He must think I'm weird though cause I burst into a rant abt said horrible surgeon halfway thru the conversation without any prior warning. nyeh.

Sometimes I think I'm too friendly and too smiley- people take solemn, aloof, arrogant(ish) people more seriously cause they look smarter and calmer. i'm gonna have to make the effort to be more aloof and solemn. so tiring.

It's such a drain on my emotional state of mind. I'm wiped out.

huayshan