One Step At A Time

Things have certainly changed. I'm learning to cope and adapt every single day. Sometimes, it's difficult. I want to feel happy, I really do. But at times, I just can't. I can't explain why. I always blame myself for various reasons. I'm trying here, I really am. This is all new to me. I know you've been patient and understanding. Sometimes, I doubt the outcome. I want things to turn out well, I really do. I'm really trying my best. I just hope it's good enough. I feel that things are improving. Though I'm disappointed that time isn't on our side, I'm getting a bit more optimistic that things will turn out well. After all, I made the decision and I will stick with it, no matter how tough things get. I feel that things are getting better. I'm learning to be more honest and to open up a bit more, even though it's difficult sometimes. After all, the things we go through are completely different but I'm learning. I'm glad we do have fun and it's good to know that you've got my back. Sometimes, these are my personal obstacles that only I can overcome and I will overcome them, one step at a time. I feel we're getting there. So let's hope that things stay this way. I will live up to my word. Honesty and opening up. Yes, I will.
I guess nobody will really understand this but I just needed some form of outlet.
This week seems promising, 3 rest days! I will make the most of it. No more procrastination or slacking. I will start taking my work more seriously and manage my time better. It's time to turn on the studying gear. I need to get my act together pronto. Work and rugby. Oh yes.
Missing so many people still and the disappointment of tonight still remains. Sigh. Let's hope Ferrari will have better luck next time and not give such fucked up performances.
Have a good week ahead.

xoxo,
MAR