Those Were The Days

Looking back at the old photos brings tears to my eyes. I can't believe my 2 years in NJ has flown past just like that. I miss my team, study buddies and pals. There isn't a day that I don't think about NJ. The times where we slogged it out together on the field and in the classroom. I felt so secure, so happy. Now, I just feel so alone. Sure I have my friends but it's just not the same. Sometimes, the culture scares me. I feel that I have so much to do and so little time. I'm worried that I am over committed. Yet, I enjoy all the other activities I have going on and I would wanna continue doing them even if it kills me. I don't know what to do anymore. There's just so many things and I'm taking things as they come. I'm wondering if I'm approaching things with the right attitude. I always believe that you aren't given more than you can handle. Recently, my belief has been shaken. I don't know anymore. I keep telling myself this and I just hope it holds true, at least for the coming week. I really need all the energy I have to survive. Next week is certainly going to be hell week. I just pray I survive. As next Sunday draws near, I can't imagine what life will be without Jen. Sure, it's only a few months and I have other friends but the feeling's just different. Everyone's going off to greener pastures. Sometimes I still doubt my decision about staying local but it's too late to turn back now. I keep telling myself that I've made a decision so I should just make the most of it and move on. But it's not easy, not at all. I'm not exactly having the time of my life right now. Trainings have been fun but tiring (2 pts this week is enough to kill. I'd be lucky if I can walk properly tomorrow). School's been as usual, a bitch with so much work and presentations to do. I need a break, a day where I can really sleep in and just recover. Sadly, that day doesn't seem to exist in my life right now. I'm looking forward to that drink and to the breakfast in bed. I really need them. Thank you two so much, you're greatly appreciated (: I will hang in there. Oh yes I will, let's just hope the weather holds up next Wednesday! I am all geared up and ready to go. Let's just get this over and done with.

Don't mind me, I just need to sort out my thoughts. I'm glad for all my friends and family, what would I do without you guys? Thanks for your support, care and concern. All my love <3

xoxo,
MAR