UGH!

Sometimes, I wonder whether I'm making the correct decision. I hate the feeling that I'm becoming the person I didn't want to be when it comes to such matters. I'm trying very hard to be independent and I believe I will succeed. But sometimes, when I saw the photos, a totally different feeling came up inside of me. It ate me up inside and I felt frustrated and sad. Sometimes I wonder whether I mean enough, whether I'm actually worth the time and effort. I know I shouldn't have such doubts but I can't help it. It's annoying that I actually have such thoughts in the first place. Oh well, I made the decision so I have to stick with it and not look back. It's so hard but maybe I am over thinking things. I should just take it easy and just go for it? I don't know. This is so frustrating and the most frustrating part of it all is myself. UGH!
Hell week is coming to an end (finally). It's been a long and draining journey. I am sick and tired of everything and I need a good break. I hope things get settled asap because I can't stand the uncertainty of it all. I just hope things take a turn for the better. It's not good that I'm getting frustrated at such an early stage but like what a friend once said: sometimes you have to go through shit first to know what's good. I sure hope his saying is true.
Sorry for the rant. I'm just physically and mentally exhausted. I really, truly need a good break. Maybe I really am too committed for my own good. Oh well, I've made them already so no point looking back now and regretting.
Alright, time to head out yet again. GGXXYYZZ11223344!

xoxo,
MAR