about my very sad life.

today it just hit me that i lead a very very very sad life. people must look at me and go- damn that girl is sad. thank the heavens i'm not her. i have an exam tomorrow, im so tired but i have a lot to read up on, reckon im just gonna zz. nyeh. And i'm going back to Hereford tomorrow evening because I have another exam in 10 days and i need 4 cases for this exam- i had all my cases but GUESS WHAT, i didnt take the patient ID numbers down so it means that I have to look for new cases. Perfect. I dont mind going back, some others are working there over the weekend but I just feel so embarrassed I'm going to be extremely humiliated if i meet any doctors i know on the wards. They'ld be like what the HECK are u doing here on a sat?? and ild be like uh... looking for my cases? and they'ld be like:
1)you lazy last-minute worker, and
2)omg you must have no life.

I want to kill myself. What have I become..? On a happier note I was so ?!! today about this whole situation(not down per se, more alarmed about what my existence is amounting to) and I really really needed to hear my mother's voice and it's just lovely calling her cause I know she'll say what i need to hear and give me all the support i need. She told me not to be embarrassed and to do what i think is best. And you know what? I'm a worrywart so even though i can probs get my cases on monday i wanna do it on sat cause I dont like sitting around anxiously!! I'm gonna be good and go in and get work done. Then in a month I'll be enjoying life and patting myself on the back for being good. Nice.

Please enjoy your lives for my sake.

huayshan