about........ facing my demons.

sigh. i've been dreading this ALL MY LIFE.
I've been able to get away with it for the past 22 years- and truth be told I think this is a punishment- because I didn't really appreciate what I had.
It took me a long time to admit this. I kept procrastinating,kept thinking that it was alright, that it wasn't as bad as it seemed.

When I felt like I was stifled, I felt like things were so tight I couldn't breathe.. I waved my arms, and had some chocolate cake. It's okay, it's just one of those days, I said to myself.

But now it's time to face the truth. Certain things don't lie, and I need to go back to the way I was. People are going to say I am crazy and people are going to judge me- and I myself will probably struggle with it.. but I will work hard to do it nevertheless.

Oh and what is this problem you ask..?

It all started........ with........

A weighing scale.

thanks for being supportive(in advance) but weighing scales don't lie. I'm ashamed to admit this here and people might beat me but I don't care. I used to be 51kg heavy and I was pretty happy with that and I am now... 55kg(pre-poop) pr 54kg(post poop).

I know I'm still relatively slim but i don't feel good about myself, so let me do this, and support and help me! DO YOU WANT ME TO BE UNHAPPY?? DO YOU??

I should have realised that I had to avoid tight fitting clothes for a reason earlier, sigh...

okay my plan:

1) Run everyday
2) No eating after 8pm ( exceptions: fruits, sweet corn)
3) Lots of soupy, stew-like food
4) Yummy food(curry, italian) twice a week
5) Snack on fruits(bananas and melon, only fruits i like) and sweet corn and toast

Seeee it's not unhealthy I'm not being anorexic I'm just being healthier. seriously the way I eat now is not very pleasant.

Okay. Will go back to 51kg and be sexy again!!!!!!!!!!

huay shan