i'm exhausted and i have tales of woe to share with everybody so please listen up if you have nothing better to do than to listen to huay shan's cries and moans.

1)i'll be reliefing a math teacher for the next two weeks. going to 4A(yes it's the one that i messed up real bad the other time) and so, i'll be seeing them FIVE times a week,during school hours(math relief),in between lessons(extra lessons for ppl who have free periods) and after school(people who want clinical sessions). well done huay shan!! i'm just really worried that they'll get sick of me. i'll be firm and do the best i can. that's all i can do. WORRIED.

2)today was bad for me. stayed back after school to help two students and i just felt that it didn't go too well. firstly,i felt that one student really took advantage of my brain cells. was helping him out with an english essay and it wen sth like this:

shan: so how do you wanna begin? ok you can start like this(blablabla) or this(blablabla)
student:errrr... *laughs* hmmm...
shan:(five mins of hmm-ing and laughing later) okay how bout this...

and so it went on and on and i ended up dictating the whole essay to the student. it isn't his fault. i know how it feels being at a loss for words. i'm not blaming him i'm blaming myself. i just didnt handle that well. i spoon-fed instead of taught. i was really angry by the end of the essay but i kept my temper under control and left the class smiling.

lets move on to the other student that got me boiling with rage. she's a pretty smart girl. but she's impatient. in short i tried teaching her the basics but she kept claiming that she knew everything but when i threw a few qns to her she got them all wrong. when i tried to explain she kept interrupting me and eventually accused me of making things complicated,saying that she understood the book better(and i was thinking,then why on earth are u asking me to tutor you?)
i got super angry and frustrated esp when she became rude and started hurling questions like "what can i do to prove to you that i understand?" and "yea i understand the book better than you" and she started adopting this really bitter and icy tone. i was seriously on the verge of scolding her but i kept my temper in check and just nodded and said okokokok a bazillion times.then at the end of the lesson she was like, oh teach me metals next week okay?and i mumbled bzzzbbzbzz.

i don't know what to do anymore. sometimes i feel like screaming and telling these people off. i get so furious so fed up and so disappointed. i feel like i've really learnt a lot and seen a lot after my teaching stint. i love helping people,i'm sure of that now because every productive lesson leaves me feeling really good and although i get really exhausted,i really dont mind staying back till 6 plus if the student genuinely wants to learn. but guess what.i'm human. people piss me off too. and right now that's sth i'm gonna have to learn to deal with cause as a doctor i sure can't scream at a patient. please tune in for the next 3 weeks,they should be preeetty interesting,what with more lessons with the above mentioned students and 4A. wish me luck.

***huay shan