year in review

well it's new year's eve and i must say, i'm really gonna miss 2006! it's been an absolute roller coaster ride! i had lots of fun! :) i made so many new friends, done many things i'd never thought i do and still manage to stay close to my favourite people :) all in all, it's been a journey of self discovery and a year filled with fantastic times. it's definitely changed my life and i'm happy with where i am at this very point in time. now, it's time to gear up and face 2007. i'm completely unprepared, unsure of what to expect and jittery. it's gonna be a tough year up ahead and i'm definitely apprehensive about it. still, i guess i should embrace new beginnings! so here's to 2007! i hope it'll be a blast! :) but of course, who could forget the memories of 2006!

here's to the wonderful people whom i love and treasure :)








for now, it's back to organic chem and mechanics. to top it all off, i realise i have to pass up my h3 work on tuesday. whoppee. holidays my ass! at least, there's madi gras party to look forward to at clarke quay tonight! :) :) exciting stuff! happy new year's eve! :)

let the pictures do the talking

i realised i haven't posted pictures of some events so here goes! :)

world school series- 8/12/2006 to 10/12/2006
:D :D :D

ogl camp external hunt- 27/12/2006

group 7! rocking i say :)

i had lots of fun! and it's because of people like that, orientation 2007 will be rocking! :)

06s12 class outing- 29/12/2006

:)

hohoho! don't we look cool? haha!

joy

the loveliest feeling in the world is the feeling of knowing that for at least a few minutes, somebody out there is thinking of you.friendster has been generously aiding me in reminding everyone out there that i'm going to be legal in a day, and i've received 31 msges from friends that i've lost contact with-people from oldham hall, RIB, the asean comm, my ijtp sec4 cohort, my ijtp badminton team, and the vjc people. it's not even my birthday yet! but every message and testimonial sent a surge of happiness through me, and it's the kind of happiness i think you'ld feel if you gulp down ecstacy pills. seriously. just feels good knowing that people care enough to drop a smile or a message. well, i'm dreading turning 18, feels so old, but i shall enjoy having a birthday. i think birthdays are simply fun. ok take care everybody.

jeanie-you are an auntie.haha

huayshan-fact-of-the-day:
i love eating brinjals.

:)

hallo, everybody. after talking to some people, and receiving tags from people whom i would never have expected to read my entries, i have concluded that ah, many people out there find my life highly entertaining. so, to you, you and you, happy reading :) i have also decided to include a "huayshan-fact-of-the-day" after every entry. excuse me for the shameless narcissism, please.

one thing that never fails to perk me up and to thrill me-making new friends. it's always fun meeting new people or getting to know people better. have you ever felt exhilaration bubbling through you when you can, somehow, get along very well with a new friend?you just start babbling away like some tsunami is going to sweep you away in ten minutes, and you just have to stuff your friend's brain with your entire life story first. but then again, there are, of course the few people that you can't find anything to say to after the conventional "eh what's your class and cca?" well, there have been awkward moments, but i did enjoy getting to know some of the creon people better.

okay. time for the first
huayshan-fact-of-the-day
i am not an emotional bimbo. i prefer to be known as a deeply analytical girl who embraces her feminity.
got that, ruiyi and wanyun?

!

wow.the immense power of the brain. i'm always thankful that i'm blessed with the ability to remember things. ah, the bliss of going back to happier times. my sec two days, when i was hopelessly infatuated with my first guy. the times i got back my prelim and olevel results. oh, and camps, like badminton camp, peer support camp, and self awareness camp-the camp where i found myself, the camp that changed me, from a self centered girl to one who appreciates things around her. well,if you try talking to me and get no response, i'm probably daydreaming. so many memories, and so much more to come. anyone know what our brain capacity is? well,let's start 2007 right. i predict it to be a year of a lot of memories. alevels, canoe comp. all the best, friends.

christmas!

merry christmas!

well well, it's the festive season once again! :) it's been real great! spending time with the family :) it's always a blast catching up with relatives :) i guess my only wish was for it to last longer! :) i'm glad christmas was spent this way because i think it's a family thing and i'm so blessed to have such a wonderful family! :) spending time with my baby cousins was a blast too! even though i didn't understand a word they said! :) but still, playing stupid games with the older ones and talking rubbish is great fun! see you guys during chinese new year!! :)

and i have been mia for ages! well, trip to san fran came to an end, sadly! it was great :) spending time with my parents and grandmother was a blast! my parents are such pranksters! playing all sorts of pranks on me! such as taking pictures of me sleeping, switching off the power so that the tv won't work when i want to watch. the list goes on. sigh. but it's fun, i guess? san fran's such a great city! shopping, sight seeing and eating is amazing! :) i wish the holiday could have lasted longer! the best part? hanging out of the cable car as it made its way through the city, up and down hills. it's an exhilarating feeling! and i wish i could relive it! :)

for now, it's time to prepare for ogl camp tomorrow. not particularly excited about it but i guess it'll turn out alright! but then, i still have work to be done. boo! alright, i shall get started and get some sleep! goodnight! and have a very merry and joyous christmas :)

boohoo.

i saw this girl today.

she looked innocent, genuinely happy and it seemed impossible to wipe away the smile she had plastered on her face. she was laughing as if she had everything in the world going right for her. then i started noticing the small details on her face. i saw the eyebags hiding beneath her glasses,i saw her eyes, tired and mildly fearful. although smiling, her face shows discreet signs of exhaustion and frustration. she seems to be afraid of many things,of the future,even. beneath her optimistic expression lies confusion and uncertainty. she looks lost. she looks afraid, she looks tired.

i saw her in the mirror.

i'm so tired and afraid. terrified of what next year will bring. sometimes i wish i could rip my heart out and fill the empty space with a block of ice or metal,anything unfeeling.just plod on. run harder, do more work. let's see how it goes.

ahh.

hello,fellow humans,i'm back in sunny singapore.

it's funny how people never seem to really appreciate their family. everyone loves their pets, their ccas, their friends, their other halves. i've been guilty of that too. i've always been raving and ranting about how my cca and my friends mean so much to me.

they do. really. i would be lost, and hopelessly unhappy without my friends and my cca. when i went home i found myself lost. again. confused between the two different worlds that i have to adapt to. when i return to singapore i have to be tough during training, gila-gila to my pals and enthusiastic abt school activities. it's not that i'm forcing myself, i do love being mad and toughy-woughy. but when i go home, i forget all about that and i simply bask in the love offered to me and let go of all the emotions i've been holding in to stay strong in singapore. i know my mother did everything humanly possible to make my holiday an enjoyable one,even at the expense of her own comfort- she who works thrice as hard as me and who is twice as worn out as me. i never talk to her about my "important" problems, like my concerns with my cca. i'm just so frank when i'm with her. i express my worries abt the future, i start being all retarded by farting in front of her.. and in turn i try to listen to all that she wants to say too. i loved it that she kept asking, you happy? i felt like she was some genie,granting all my wishes. i said i felt like eating spaghetti, and before i knew it i was in a supermarket arguing with her over the pasta type.

sometimes i see people that are so perfect. people that excel in everything. people whose shoes others would die to get into. i get envious for awhile,i do. then i start thinking about what it would be like if i swapped places with them. then i envision a different life. a life without my brother. he knows practically nothing about my life other than the cold hard facts like my cca and grades. he hardly talks to me. he hardly sees me. but life without him is alien, empty, frightening. he's the only person in this world that truly thinks i'm wonderful, that i'm important, that life without me is unimaginable. ok he better be thinking that, i'm no mind reader. he understands everything and when i talk,he listens no matter how boring i am. in short, he loves me. his love isn't the "i'll-call-you-everyday","i'll send you flowers", kind of love. it's the kind of love that lets me know that no matter what happens to me, no matter how ugly or stupid i may end up to be, he'll be by my side, and he'll always think i'm beautiful and smart(duh hehh). so i do admire a lot of people. idolise them. but swap lives with them? nahhh i don't think so.

i'm back in singapore so i'm going to revert back to my gila gila nutty tough self. back to being a JC girl, one whose studies,cca and friends mean the world to her.

update

so now world schools has been over. i guess that explains my disappearance this long while. well, the world schools has left me in awe, tired and proud.
firstly, participating in this competition has certainly opened my eyes to the world of touch. i was in complete admiration of the teams from australia. their game had so much flow and the players seemed to know when to do what and how to do what perfectly. it's amazing. i wish we could improve to that standard too! perhaps it's their mindset towards the game. i realise that we do enjoy the game but we become serious, to the extent that we're high strung? i noticed that they smile everytime they make a mistake while we curse and swear. maybe we need to change our mindset? yet again, it is difficult to do that. oh well, i think we just need to work harder and improve so that we can inch closer to that standard! :)
but in other words, i am proud of our team. we certainly improved from touch oasis. there were good moments but of course, we still can improve more and there are areas to work on. yet, i never dreamed we could beat OFS. after all, they do have speed. it may be because of the fact that they only had 1 substitute while we had 8. still, it is an achievement and i do admire OFS' perseverence. they showed a great amount of strength and i really tip my hat off to them!
however, these 2 days of competition has taken its toll on me. it certainly is tiring! but well worth it because the memories and the experience gained is definitely indescribable and i'm thankful for this opportunity :) on top of that, we got to make new friends :) steph, meifang, nic and flo! thankyou so much for being willing to join our team for this competition :) you guys are really sweet and we couldn't have done this without you :) love you guys and keep in touch! :)
as for now, it's time to train hard and improve even more :)



well, these 2 days have been great too! san fran has been amazing! the sights are beautiful! it's really hilly but it's quite cool :) shopping has been fantastic too! :) the food is not bad either! thought the portions are huge! it's been great so far! but i do miss singapore :) where the food's less rich! alright, time to go turn in soon, it'll be a long day tomorrow! :) take care all and have a wonderful holiday!

take care zee! i'm gonna miss you lots!

blah

it's just one of those days. when you feel like everything's going wrong. when you feel like something's not right,but you just can't put your finger to it. i feel sad cause i'm not feeling happy when i'm supposed to be feeling happy, and i get jealous when i start thinking about how other people are happy. i think of people, hope they are thinking of me but i know that some of them may not be because they're too pre-occupied with their own lives. it's weird how i can feel like things are going so right one day, and feel the opposite just an hour or two later. i felt so good this afternoon watching my kids. i can barely squeeze a smile now. i wish i could just destroy,burn,iron out all the creases in my life. straighten it out,make it good. again.

see you all after next fri.

(:

it's been a great week.
this week has made me realise a few things.
firstly, doing cip and yong en care centre was really meaningful. i really admire the mindset of one of the old ladies. she is able to look past her disabilities and pull herself together to learn new things. i think it's so difficult to do that. the sheer determination is certainly admirable. i only wish i had such determination in my life.
secondly, catching up with chang made me appreciate her even more :) there are really few people whom i can pour my heart out to and she's one of them :) i'm really grateful for her because without her, i'd think i'd lose my sanity and explode! i'm so so grateful that we're still close, even though we may not be as close as before, i think we're still alright :) chang, if you ever get to read this, even if that person is not there, you know that i'm here for you :) don't give up ok? :) i know everything will turn out alright, it always does. it may not turn out the way we want, but i know that god will give us a good enough ending :) so chin up! :)




this week's gonna be a pretty busy one! with lots of trainings, friendly, class chalet and competition and of course, the most exciting bit! flying off to san fransisco :) i'm really excited! but that also means more work to be completed this week! so many things to get done! alright, shall not waste anymore time! it's time to get started! :)

deborah, this is for you. i really enjoyed the past week and i thought it's high time i let you know that i really do cherish our friendship! every word here is the truth and only the truth.

i remember when we first met in the chem lab, we stared at each other. i thought you were a bimbo, you thought i was some unfriendly girl who scraped through prelims to get into vjc. then we started talking and then we formed held:) honestly i still felt a little detached from you, even up to midyears. i even pangseh-ed you so many times,and i feel really bad. but the thing that really got to me was that you never ever held a grudge against me no matter what shit i made you put up with. like the class bbq? like when i would be grumpy in school,when i would show an attitude when i'm in a bad mood. and you're really sincere and honest when you talk to me i can just feel it. and i like it and i'm thankful for it. and ure really funny please in the way you nonchalantly march about a shoe sale err with one foot shoe-less. sometimes i feel like i can't connect with you-like with council, with my own personal issues. but i know that u do care, and that you do try to help. and i will try my best to be a good listening ear if you should ever need one k. i think you're really selfless and unassuming,like when elise lost her wallet. i could see no hints of impatience in your actions, only pure sympathy.( "u want bubble tea?u want?i buy for you?") and though ure craze for shopping and ure ability to laugh at everything in this world and ure bad taste in guys can really drive me up the wall sometimes, i always end up falling in love with you all over again. so i thank you for the past one week, cause it's been great. esp the last day. i like being alone with u sometimes, i really feel like u're a good girlfriend,esp for bimbo-ing together(manicures,air-stewardess-ing,prom-ing),and i think it's real cute when u told me i could buy the same shoes as you and when u asked me if u could buy the same top. i feel that with us, there's none of that mean girl crap, no back-stabbing, no bitching,no insincerity. it's like i can just ask you for anything and i know u'll say OKAY. borrow clothes, stay over at your place,use ure printer,accompany me shopping.. i want you to know that as far as i can, i want to make it a two-way thing k. so thank you,deborah hendricks. here's to another year together.